Spiritual Direction: Sacred Listening -- A Guest Post by Jean Wise

Several years ago I became friends with a woman who told me she was trained as a spiritual director. I came to faith at a young age and had grown up within the church but, until I met this woman, I had never heard of any such a thing. As I got to know her, I learned more about her work. Her friendship has been a profound gift.

Then I met Jean Wise, another spiritual director who blogs at Healthy Spirituality. I am always fascinated to learn how people got to be who they are. (in other words, I'm terribly nosy) I asked Jean if she would be willing to tell me her story about how the practice of spiritual direction became a part of her story. After reading Jean's words, please be sure to click over to her place to say hi. Hers is a place of calm, quiet, and peace.

Ten years ago, transition and turmoil filled my life. In 2002, two of my three children were graduating and moving out of state, close friends died and others experienced serious illnesses, friends at work betrayed my trust, and my husband’s workload became heavier. I felt restless, lost and tossed in never ending storms.

When Nancy asked me to write this guest post about what led me on my road to become a spiritual director, I knew it began in that turbulent year. I reached for my journals to try to find the moment that set me down that path. I expected to find that one pivotal point in time where God showed his spotlight on this calling.

When I reviewed my journals, what surprised me was that during that dark year, not one clear moment emerged. Scattered throughout the year were many small lamps softly lighting my way.

I was also amazed to rediscover what I thought took place over a 4-6 month time of exploration and discernment actually lasted closer to 18 months. Funny how memory works, isn’t it? Reflecting on past journal entries always bears good fruit.

In 2002 I clung to God to find the solid ground I so desperately needed. But it was dark and I sure had trouble finding Him. I needed to talk to someone, a human someone, about what I was experiencing and really not experiencing spiritually. I needed another person to listen while I sorted my losses and help me give voice to my roller-coaster emotions and muddy thoughts. I felt lost and wanted a companion to walk along with me for a while and help me find my way back to God.

I asked others about spiritual direction. Though it wasn’t highly practiced in my faith tradition, I heard of several directors in my area. Spiritual direction has been part of the Christian tradition for centuries and its acceptance is growing in many denominations. I read more about this ministry and felt God inviting me to explore this spiritual practice.

Why would someone want spiritual direction? To explore their yearning for God -- to understand meaning in their life; to gain a sense of discernment; to understand where they are going and how to live their life more fully. Meeting with a spiritual director is helpful when you want a deeper relationship with God.

Spiritual direction is a vital tool for a healthy spirituality.

Spiritual direction helps people tell their own sacred story and to find the Sacred within their story.

Spiritual direction is not counseling or therapy. Rather, as a reflective, contemplative process, the focus in spiritual direction is always on one's relationship with God. Working closely with a spiritual director, who is trained in the art of sacred listening, one begins to uncover and discover the multiple and often unseen ways God appears in our lives.

A spiritual director listens and gives feedback about what he or she is hearing and sensing about the movement of the Holy Spirit in your life. This feedback is for your consideration only; the spiritual director is not a guru who tells you what to do.

If you decide to meet with a spiritual director ask how and where they were trained. I fulfilled the requirements of a three-year spiritual director practicum at the Dominican Center at Marywood in Grand Rapids, Michigan, and currently help to lead a spiritual direction group here in northwest Ohio.

Spiritual directors do not have the answers and don’t pretend to. In fact, the name "director" is somewhat misleading, as it is not about “directing,” but more supporting people in their discernment and offering a deep listening presence.

A spiritual director is that companion I sought in 2002 and continue to walk with today.

A spiritual director listens both to your story and in prayer, to God, providing light for your journey and promoting health for your spirit.

A great Internet resource for more information is Spiritual Directors International.Their site has resources and a great set of videos to watch about spiritual direction.

Remember the story of the two disciples walking on the Emmaus Road and Jesus joins them? To me that best explains spiritual direction – walking with a trusted companion and Jesus – together on a journey.

Two of them that same day were making their way to a village named Emmaus…discussing as they went all that had happened…Jesus approached and began to walk along with them. – Luke 24:13

Fightin' Words

Kids earn trophies for all sorts of accomplishments: horseback riding, Little League, academics, even baton-twirling. I have earned exactly one trophy in my life, and that one was for memorizing Bible verses. As a child I participated in an AWANA program and earned the Timothy award, based on 2 Timothy 2:15:

Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.

Approved Workmen Are Not Ashamed – AWANA, get it?

I never was quite sure how to pronounce the word shew.

We talked, in last week's women's Sunday School class, about the value of the practice of memorization. As a former Bible verse memory nerd, I started thinking about the ways this practice shaped my early understanding of Scripture. One of the things I thought about was this: I wonder how much of my understanding of certain Scripture passages was formed when I memorized them as a child. Don’t get me wrong, I am grateful to have been taught God’s word from a young age. I’m thankful that I still remember verses I learned as a child, or at least snippets of verses. Most of them, I still remember in the King James.

Consider this verse, about the value of memorizing Scripture:

Thy word have I hid in mine heart, that I might not sin against thee. Psalm 119:11, KJV

For as long as I can remember, I’ve accepted as fact the idea that memorizing Bible verses would keep me from sinning.

I’m wondering how my childhood brain might have imagined that would work.

Maybe I assumed that if I memorized Scripture it would act like an immunization, inoculating me against sin.

Or perhaps I thought Bible memorization would create in my head a database of right and wrong.  If, for example, I found myself tempted to knock over a liquor store, I could simply consult my memory to see whether or not armed robbery was on the naughty list. If I found it was, then obviously I would decide against doing any such a thing.

Or maybe I thought the power of Scripture memory would act something like Captain America’s shield. When temptations came my way, the verses I had stored in my heart would deflect them away.

I’ve been thinking lately about the particular sins that have a tendency to trip me up, wondering how hiding God’s word might actually keep me from falling face-first into them. Knocking over liquor stores doesn’t really hold as much appeal for me as one might suspect. My pet sins tend more along the lines of worry, fear, unbelief, and doubt that God really does love me.

I’m tempted to believe that God is not good, or that my situation exceeds His ability, or that He won’t do what He promised. Most often, the temptation toward those kinds of thoughts comes to me in the dark of night when I don’t have a Scofield Reference Bible at the ready. Or a Geneva Study Bible. Or any other version that might help me beat back the lies and temptations which assault me in the middle of the night.

The only way I know how to do battle against that kind of temptation is the same way Jesus did, by using every word that proceeds from the mouth of God. Assuming I have those words handy when I need them. Assuming I’ve allowed the word of Christ to dwell in me richly.

It’s been many years since I’ve given serious thought to the practice of memorization. And, I suspect I’ll find it much more difficult than I did when I was a child. But I’m thinking it may be time for me to pick it back up again.

Even if there are no trophies at stake.

Considering the practice of memorization? Here are several useful tools:

Ann Voskamp’s Scripture memory cards for the book of Colossians

Ann Voskamp’s Scripture memory cards for The Sermon on the Mount

Laura Boggess’s Scripture memory cards for the book of James

Linking with Michelle @ Graceful:

And with Jen and the sisterhood @ Finding Heaven:

Appointment With God

Come on in. Have a seat, he says. You’re late.

“I know,” I mumble, eyes bowed.

This isn’t the first time. And I notice you’ve missed several appointments lately. You do realize the importance of these meetings? I held high hopes for you; now I’m not so sure. I may have to withhold some of the benefits I intended to offer you.

“I’m sorry. I overslept. I’ll try harder. I promise.”

He says nothing. He’s heard my empty promises before.

Well let’s get to it then. Did you finish that reading I left for you?

“I meant to. Life got kind of hectic.”

Hmm. I assume you brought your list of action items?

“They’re here; though I’m sure I left out a few things.”

I lay my list before him, jabbering on about the merit of each item. I offer my take on each, suggesting possible next steps he might consider. I wait for a response.

Not bad, he says. Here’s what I can offer you. I can agree to numbers 2, 5, 7, and 8. I’ll give you healing from the head cold, allow you to find the pay stub you lost, grant you the job interview you wanted, and smooth things over with the woman from your church. But 3, 4, 6, and 8 don’t quite line up with my priorities. They don’t fit within my overarching vision. I’m not saying they’re completely off the table, but you need to rethink those requests and see if you can get them to line up more closely with my will. But don’t expect me to make this easy for you. Don’t expect me to outline my will in crayon for you, making it obvious. You’re going to have to do some digging and see if you can figure it out for yourself.

“I’ll see what I can do,” I say, tucking my list back inside my notebook; casting a glance at my watch.

You don’t really enjoy these meetings, do you?

“It’s not that. I just know I haven’t accomplished much lately. I’m sure you’re disappointed.  I’m afraid you’re going to be upset with me.”

Well that’s something you’ll have to work on then. I see our time’s up. Good meeting. See you tomorrow, same time. Don’t be late.

We shake hands.

For years I wrestled to commit to a consistent quiet time with God. I lived as though time with him followed an exchange similar to the one above. Lately I’ve been rethinking the whole idea of quiet time. I read through scripture and begin to question whether or not it’s actually a thing, one God requires of me.

This past year I read a book written by a woman who met God in the Yard. She wrote of delighting in his presence. She got me thinking that's what I want to do. I want to enjoy God. Maybe even glorify him.

Working on some material for a women's Sunday School class starting this week at my church. This is a piece of it.

Linking with L.L. Barkat who got me thinking:

Laura Boggess in her playdates series:

And with Michelle in her Hear It, Use It community:

Moving Beyond the List

At various times and in various places, I have been told that, as a mature Christian woman, I should:

• Have a regular, daily quiet time
• Memorize scripture
• Meditate on God’s word
• Engage in heavy, deep, theological study  of scripture
• Participate regularly in the life of the church
• Attend women’s retreats in order to find refreshment for my soul
• Practice hospitality
• Give thanks in all things
• Meet regularly with a prayer or accountability partner
• Serve wherever and whenever needed (even if I didn’t feel particularly gifted in the area of need)
• Participate in or consider leading a small group Bible study
• Evangelize
• Seek justice for the oppressed; speak up for those who are weak
• Consider fasting
• Be a good steward of creation (or, at the very least, take the time to separate my recyclables from the rest of the trash)
• Pray without ceasing

All of which I thought I was supposed to do while trying to be a loving and supportive wife, raising my children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, and trying to keep the house stocked with adequate supplies of both milk and breakfast cereal.

Can I just say it’s been exhausting trying to stay on top of that list?

And sometimes I’ve felt as though I’ve missed an important memo, the one explaining what my regular, daily quiet time was supposed to look like. Because I’m not sure I’ve ever gotten that one quite right.

And they heard the sound of the LORD God walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the LORD God among the trees of the garden. But the LORD God called to the man and said to him, "Where are you?" Genesis 3:8, 9 ESV

As I look back at all the busy-ness of my years of raising and homeschooling children, too often I neglected the voice of God crying out, “Where are you?”  I got caught up in my list of things I thought I should be doing for God, or feeling guilty about what I wasn’t doing. I cloaked myself in busy-ness.  I forgot I was created, first and foremost, for worship of and communion with God. At times the many good items on my list kept me from drawing near the heart of God.

The Apostle Paul, who was no slouch in his zeal for the things of God, said he considered everything else rubbish compared to the surpassing worth of knowing Christ (Philippians 3:8). The knowledge Paul spoke of wasn’t mere intellectual knowledge; he spoke of the kind of intimacy cultivated in regular communion with the triune God.

It took another list, a list of thanksgiving, to begin to open my eyes to what life lived in communion with God might look like. The practice of looking for God’s presence in my life as I gave thanks for His gifts helped me imagine a life of faith beyond a list of things I should be doing. I began learning about other spiritual practices, other ways of digging deeper into the riches of God’s word and creating space for His Spirit whisper to my spirit in prayer.  Practices like Lectio divina, celebration, and silence have begun to feel like walks with God in the garden during the cool of the evening. I’m also learning that I don’t have to commit myself to every spiritual practice I see exercised in the lives of other faithful believers. Not all are a good fit for me, given the way God wired me. My quiet time, my time communing with God, may bear very little resemblance to anyone else’s, and that’s okay.

Because I’m ready to move on from a list of things I do for God, to a life lived with God.

(For further reflection on the life of communion with God I recommend the book, With: Reimagining the Way You Relate to God,by Skye Jethani)

Have you ever gotten so busy doing things for God that you neglected to spend time with God? How do you make space in your life to draw near the heart of God?

Linking with Jen and the sisterhood: