Several years ago I became friends with a woman who told me she was trained as a spiritual director. I came to faith at a young age and had grown up within the church but, until I met this woman, I had never heard of any such a thing. As I got to know her, I learned more about her work. Her friendship has been a profound gift.
Then I met Jean Wise, another spiritual director who blogs at Healthy Spirituality. I am always fascinated to learn how people got to be who they are. (in other words, I'm terribly nosy) I asked Jean if she would be willing to tell me her story about how the practice of spiritual direction became a part of her story. After reading Jean's words, please be sure to click over to her place to say hi. Hers is a place of calm, quiet, and peace.
Ten years ago, transition and turmoil filled my life. In
2002, two of my three children were graduating and moving out of state, close
friends died and others experienced serious illnesses, friends at work betrayed
my trust, and my husband’s workload became heavier. I felt restless, lost and
tossed in never ending storms.
When Nancy asked me to write this guest post about what led
me on my road to become a spiritual director, I knew it began in that turbulent
year. I reached for my journals to try to find the moment that set me down that path. I expected to find
that one pivotal point in time where God showed his spotlight on this calling.
When I reviewed my journals, what surprised me was that
during that dark year, not one clear moment emerged. Scattered throughout the
year were many small lamps softly lighting my way.
I was also amazed to rediscover what I thought took place
over a 4-6 month time of exploration and discernment actually lasted closer to
18 months. Funny how memory works, isn’t
it? Reflecting on past journal entries always bears good fruit.
In 2002 I clung to God to find the solid ground I so
desperately needed. But it was dark and I sure had trouble finding Him. I needed
to talk to someone, a human someone, about what I was experiencing and really
not experiencing spiritually. I needed another person to listen while I sorted my losses and help me give voice to my roller-coaster
emotions and muddy thoughts. I felt lost and wanted a companion to walk along
with me for a while and help me find my way back to God.
I asked others about spiritual direction. Though it wasn’t
highly practiced in my faith tradition, I heard of several directors in my
area. Spiritual direction has been part of the Christian tradition for
centuries and its acceptance is growing in many denominations. I read more
about this ministry and felt God inviting me to explore this spiritual
practice.
Why would someone want spiritual direction? To explore their
yearning for God -- to understand meaning in their life; to gain a sense of
discernment; to understand where they are going and how to live their life more
fully. Meeting with a spiritual director is helpful when you want a deeper
relationship with God.
Spiritual direction is a vital tool for a healthy
spirituality.
Spiritual direction helps people tell their own sacred story
and to find the Sacred within their story.
Spiritual direction is not counseling or therapy. Rather, as
a reflective, contemplative process, the focus in spiritual direction is always
on one's relationship with God. Working closely with a spiritual director, who
is trained in the art of sacred
listening, one begins to uncover and discover the multiple and often unseen
ways God appears in our lives.
A spiritual director listens and gives feedback about what
he or she is hearing and sensing about the movement of the Holy Spirit in your
life. This feedback is for your consideration only; the spiritual director is
not a guru who tells you what to do.
If you decide to meet with a spiritual director ask how and
where they were trained. I fulfilled the requirements of a three-year spiritual
director practicum at the Dominican Center at Marywood in Grand Rapids, Michigan,
and currently help to lead a spiritual direction group here in northwest Ohio.
Spiritual directors do not have the answers and don’t
pretend to. In fact, the name "director" is somewhat misleading, as
it is not about “directing,” but more supporting people in their discernment
and offering a deep listening presence.
A spiritual director is that companion I sought in 2002 and
continue to walk with today.
A spiritual director listens both to your story and in prayer, to God, providing light for your journey and promoting health for your spirit.
A great Internet resource for more information is Spiritual Directors International.Their site has resources and a great
set of videos to watch about spiritual direction.
Remember the story of the two disciples walking on the
Emmaus Road and Jesus joins them? To me that best explains spiritual direction
– walking with a trusted companion and Jesus – together on a journey.
Two of them that same
day were making their way to a village named Emmaus…discussing as they went all
that had happened…Jesus approached and began to walk along with them. – Luke
24:13
37 comments:
I have had the pleasure of having a spiritual director in my life and now I am a coach for women, which is a bit different. But, having one throughout my journey of life has proven pivotal to my walk with Him. I can look back on some markers in life that shaped me and a spiritual director was leading me through each one. I can imagine that your gifts are a tremendous blessing to countless others Diana. And you explained what you do well.
This was very interesting, Nancy. I love to learn about new ways that God moves and touches people's lives through his people. Nice to meet Jean as well!
NIce to connect with you too Gaby. Everyone has a story and if we look, we can find God in each of our moments too.!
Hi Shelly, congrats on being a coach. A vital ministry for others I am sure! It is such a sacred humbling time to walk with someone and hear their spiritual story. At times I feel like I am walking on holy ground with them. Thanks for your comments
I had never heard of a spiritual director. So fascinating. I wanna know more. I am off to the website.
This was an interesting read. I'd never heard of a Spiritual Director. I was blessed to go to a psychologist, when I first started on my journey with Tamoxifen, that was a Christian. She helped me with my struggle with church ladies and church. I guess I was lucky.
How very intriguing and real and inspiring... and I hope that things are much less turbulent for you now.
(thank you Nancy, and thank you Jean who I have 'seen' but not actually met:) )
Jeanie, when I first met you I knew something was special. You attended to my unknown need with your kindness and love. I know God meant you for this! Love your words "Spiritual direction helps people tell their own sacred story and to find the Sacred within their story." This was great.
Nancy, thanks for letting her post. I found out a bit more, too :)
Jamie isn't it fun to learn a new way to grow closer to God? I found speaking to a spiritual director clarified so many things for me and helped me to reflect and grow May God bless you on your journey!
So glad you found a Christian psychologist - what a blessing.
Yes Deb things are better but you know life is always a bit challenging. I guess that part of living. I do find talking with a spiritual director grounds me in rough times and helps me grow in both good and difficult times.
Karen you are such a sweetie, a real soul sister for me! Thanks for your kind words...
An illuminating post! Thanks for sharing Jean, Nancy.
I have met with a spiritual director at two critical junctures in my life--before marriage and after my mom died. The best time and money I've ever spent.
I've been out all morning, so I'm a little late to the party here. Thanks for starting without me and making Jean feel welcome here. Jean, thanks for sharing your story. Okay everyone, continue!
Jean, thanks for sharing your story here, and Nancy, for bringing her in. ;-)
One question that always intrigues me a bit with spiritual direction, that perhaps you can answer, Jean, and maybe Diana can add some insight if she pops by later? How would you distinguish between the spiritual direction process and the one-on-one discipleship process? (I see both as good and important work, with some manner of overlap, and just curious as to how one involved in the process might help clarify.)
Thanks, Jean!
You have a tardy slip? I see it is unsigned...
Sigh. What am I supposed to do with you?
My pleasure! And thanks for stopping by.
We haven't actually met yet either. Hoping to this Spring!
Yes, Happygirl. What a gift. God is good.
Oh, well. I see how you are. The problem isn't that you were late. It was that I noticed.
I'd been wondering about spiritual directors ever since I heard Diana discuss it. Actually I read Diana's discussion of it.
I understand better now. What a blessing to offer!
Hello Jean and Nancy ... =)
The moment I read Jean's name, it sounded familiar. I grew up in Grand Rapids very close to Marywood and am familiar with the Dominican center you are speaking of so I can attest that you've come through a wonderful program of study and training. I'll bet we know some of the same folks Jean!
Lyla, I've checked fb and here and waited as long as I can for Diana or Jean to respond... so now, I'm going to chime in. =) Two of my closest friends are spiritual directors and have gone through 3 year programs of study and training. I have had the benefit of being their guinea pig... 'nuff said.
Here's my 2 cents on Lyla's question... in my mind, a discipleship program would be more of a student/teacher... or mentor/mentee relationship. The discipler being the teacher or dispenser of knowledge of faith and scriptures to the young christian or student who does not already posess the factual information. Sometimes, discipleship can be according to a very specific curriculum or program (like Navigators or Campus Crusade.)
A spiritual director comes to the relationship with no academic agenda or course to complete. But they are studied and very well read in the Christian faith and trained in various spiritual disciplines that allow the directee to discover more of who God is, and develop their relationship with him, exploring how he speaks, and what he has to say to them personally. They continually point the directee toward Christ and are a sounding board, so to speak, able to weigh everything against the character of God and his word.
That's what my friends have done for me. They have facilitated the best discussions of my life and conducted some of the most amazing retreats where I was able to learn and experience that God is more present and alive than I ever knew him to be. But that's enough for now. How'd I do Diana?... Jean? =)
Greta answer to Lyla's question. I checked back here to respond to comments but somehow missed a group of them. Just now found them. I think you distinguished between them quite well. A spiritual director is more of a listening companion than a teacher.
So glad to meet someone who also knows Marywood. They are a wonderful group of people there. I am going on a four day silent retreat with them next month! They always feed my spirit.
Thanks for your nice comment Sheila!
sorry I missed your question earlier, and think Patricia did a great job of answering about the difference. Yes both do important work and both are a God called ministry
Perfect. Thank you, Pat and Jean!
(And Pat, big atta girl to you for holding out as long as you could. ;-) You crack me up, my friend.)
Thanks Jean =) I owe that answer to my dear friends Jenni Swink and Vickie Knipp... have you ever met them from the Lansing area? I should look at the Marywood site for retreats as it is so close to me. I have never attended one there. The silent retreats I have gone to are down in Three Rivers outside of Kalamazoo at a Mennonite retreat center there...which bordered a monastery... God is truly amazing. So happy to meet you! Thanks Nancy!
Anytime, Lyla. (except for the workday hours... when I have to hold my horses till I can come out and play with you girls.)
Thanks so much for this excellent answer, Pat. I've been out and about today - it's been 72 and gorgeous, I had birthday gifts to buy for our 2 year old granddaughter, etc., etc. I could not have put this any better. SD is its own unique 'animal' - not pastoral counseling, not discipleship training, not therapy. But it has a unique blend of therapeutic elements and spiritual formation. Usually meeting for about an hour once a month, the SD consciously seeks the discerning presence of the Holy Spirit in each interaction with a directee. Together, both director and directee try to listen to one another and to God. Sometimes, specific disciplines are suggested. Some directors (including my own) work exclusively with dreams, requiring the keeping of a dream journal. I do a mix of things with the directees I meet with - and I am still in training and continually learning more about what this relationship looks like. Lyla, I imagine some of the monks at the monastery you've been visiting these weeks are trained in direction. That might be a great place to start. I am currently in a Catholic training program, though I began my training through my own denominational seminary, which has a fabulous program. I landed in the hospital just before the 2nd of 3 weeks in Chicago during 3 successive summers. (That program also has on-line small group course work during the two school years in between the weeklong intensives.) The one I'm in now has two summers of 2 weeks each, living and worshipping and learning in community. The retreat I just came back from is a Reunion Retreat, offered each President's weekend - each one with a different theme, adding layers of training/education for those who are already doing this ministry. I loved being in Chicago and was so sad not to finish with my cohort. BUT I now see that God has redeemed the loss of that experience with a totally unique one with these fascinating charismatic Catholics, getting me out of my denominational 'box' and teaching me things I might never have learned otherwise.
Way to go Diana... that's the part I couldn't speak to. I'm glad to read your input. I speak from experiencing it and not training for it. I look forward to training for this some day. At first, when my friends decided to do this, i was worried and distrustful about some guru program they were getting into. Now, I know it was not to be feared, but understood.
I have never heard of such a title or role, but I like it!
I held out waiting for Jean and Diana to answer before adding my two cents. This is how I used to describe what it was like meeting with my friend/spiritual director. I would cry and babble about how horrible my life was. She sat with me and handed me tissues. Sometimes she just read Scripture to me--bathing me in it, letting it wash over me until I could hear the Holy Spirit speak through God's word.
She handed me a lot of a tissues. It was a beautiful thing. Thank you all for chiming in here.
I wasn't familiar with the one in Kalamazoo will have to look into that one. Dominican Center travels to NW Ohio where I live and offers some programs in Toledo area so is closer to me. I have also participated with some programs in DeWitt, near Ann Arbor. Do check out Marywood though. Excellent programs and great ecumenical spiritual direction training.
This is so much connected with different sisters in Christ. I have not done much with dreams but know several directors who do. I love the growing ecumenical partnerships within spiritual directors too. The last group I helped to train had five different faith communities represented. Many hungry and thirsty people seeking God!
oh jean, how incredible. i would love to sit and have tea with you and hear your insights on how God is working... what an amazing journey you're on. thanks so much for sharing, and thank you nancy, for hosting... xoxo
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