Moving Beyond the List

At various times and in various places, I have been told that, as a mature Christian woman, I should:

• Have a regular, daily quiet time
• Memorize scripture
• Meditate on God’s word
• Engage in heavy, deep, theological study  of scripture
• Participate regularly in the life of the church
• Attend women’s retreats in order to find refreshment for my soul
• Practice hospitality
• Give thanks in all things
• Meet regularly with a prayer or accountability partner
• Serve wherever and whenever needed (even if I didn’t feel particularly gifted in the area of need)
• Participate in or consider leading a small group Bible study
• Evangelize
• Seek justice for the oppressed; speak up for those who are weak
• Consider fasting
• Be a good steward of creation (or, at the very least, take the time to separate my recyclables from the rest of the trash)
• Pray without ceasing

All of which I thought I was supposed to do while trying to be a loving and supportive wife, raising my children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, and trying to keep the house stocked with adequate supplies of both milk and breakfast cereal.

Can I just say it’s been exhausting trying to stay on top of that list?

And sometimes I’ve felt as though I’ve missed an important memo, the one explaining what my regular, daily quiet time was supposed to look like. Because I’m not sure I’ve ever gotten that one quite right.

And they heard the sound of the LORD God walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the LORD God among the trees of the garden. But the LORD God called to the man and said to him, "Where are you?" Genesis 3:8, 9 ESV

As I look back at all the busy-ness of my years of raising and homeschooling children, too often I neglected the voice of God crying out, “Where are you?”  I got caught up in my list of things I thought I should be doing for God, or feeling guilty about what I wasn’t doing. I cloaked myself in busy-ness.  I forgot I was created, first and foremost, for worship of and communion with God. At times the many good items on my list kept me from drawing near the heart of God.

The Apostle Paul, who was no slouch in his zeal for the things of God, said he considered everything else rubbish compared to the surpassing worth of knowing Christ (Philippians 3:8). The knowledge Paul spoke of wasn’t mere intellectual knowledge; he spoke of the kind of intimacy cultivated in regular communion with the triune God.

It took another list, a list of thanksgiving, to begin to open my eyes to what life lived in communion with God might look like. The practice of looking for God’s presence in my life as I gave thanks for His gifts helped me imagine a life of faith beyond a list of things I should be doing. I began learning about other spiritual practices, other ways of digging deeper into the riches of God’s word and creating space for His Spirit whisper to my spirit in prayer.  Practices like Lectio divina, celebration, and silence have begun to feel like walks with God in the garden during the cool of the evening. I’m also learning that I don’t have to commit myself to every spiritual practice I see exercised in the lives of other faithful believers. Not all are a good fit for me, given the way God wired me. My quiet time, my time communing with God, may bear very little resemblance to anyone else’s, and that’s okay.

Because I’m ready to move on from a list of things I do for God, to a life lived with God.

(For further reflection on the life of communion with God I recommend the book, With: Reimagining the Way You Relate to God,by Skye Jethani)

Have you ever gotten so busy doing things for God that you neglected to spend time with God? How do you make space in your life to draw near the heart of God?

Linking with Jen and the sisterhood: