Come on in. Have a
seat, he says. You’re late.
“I know,” I
mumble, eyes bowed.
This isn’t the first time. And I notice
you’ve missed several appointments lately. You do realize the importance of
these meetings? I held high hopes for you; now I’m not so sure. I may have to
withhold some of the benefits I intended to offer you.
“I’m sorry.
I overslept. I’ll try harder. I promise.”
He says
nothing. He’s heard my empty promises before.
Well let’s get to it then. Did you finish
that reading I left for you?
“I meant to.
Life got kind of hectic.”
Hmm. I assume you brought your list of
action items?
“They’re
here; though I’m sure I left out a few things.”
I lay my
list before him, jabbering on about the merit of each item. I offer my take on
each, suggesting possible next steps he might consider. I wait for a response.
Not bad, he says. Here’s what I can offer you. I can agree to numbers 2, 5, 7, and 8.
I’ll give you healing from the head cold, allow you to find the pay stub you
lost, grant you the job interview you wanted, and smooth things over with the
woman from your church. But 3, 4, 6, and 8 don’t quite line up with my
priorities. They don’t fit within my overarching vision. I’m not saying they’re
completely off the table, but you need to rethink those requests and see if you
can get them to line up more closely with my will. But don’t expect me to make
this easy for you. Don’t expect me to outline my will in crayon for you, making
it obvious. You’re going to have to do some digging and see if you can figure it
out for yourself.
“I’ll see
what I can do,” I say, tucking my list back inside my notebook; casting a
glance at my watch.
You don’t really enjoy these meetings, do
you?
“It’s not
that. I just know I haven’t accomplished much lately. I’m sure you’re
disappointed. I’m afraid you’re going to
be upset with me.”
Well that’s something you’ll have to work on
then. I see our time’s up. Good meeting. See you tomorrow, same time. Don’t be
late.
We shake hands.
For years I wrestled
to commit to a consistent quiet time with God. I lived as though time with him followed
an exchange similar to the one above. Lately I’ve been rethinking the whole
idea of quiet time. I read through scripture and begin to question whether
or not it’s actually a thing, one God requires of me.
This past
year I read a book written by a woman who met God in the Yard. She wrote of delighting in his presence. She got me thinking that's what I want to do. I want to enjoy God. Maybe even glorify him.
Working on some material for a women's Sunday School class starting this week at my church. This is a piece of it.
Linking with L.L. Barkat who got me thinking:
And with Michelle in her Hear It, Use It community:
25 comments:
First, I love this. Second? I love this.
We screw up so much of our way with him by thinking that he is just like us. That he prizes efficiency, organization, punctuality more than our fellowship and delight in his presence. That he comes more ready to evaluate us than relish the time with us.
So much more I could say. Yout set me to thinking.
Good meeting.
Delight in the Beloved and let the Beloved delight in You.
Very creative writing. I liked it and so personable God IS waiting for us. We just need to be obediant.
Thought-provoking. I think I've mentioned before: the quiet time thing isn't for me in this season of my life. I'm going to try to read through the Bible next year, but, you know, I read the Bible online about half the time...usually while my husband watches tv or plays video games. I prepare my Sunday-school lessons and write my book in this same way: always on the couch, with Jim's background noise. I pray throughout the day as though God is with me while I do the mom thing and the house thing and the driving thing. Because He IS with me!!! And I hear Him speak to me very clearly in His wordless way.
It could very well have been me sitting in that seat Nancy. You've nailed it.
I've been thinking along the same lines lately. Why just the set time? Why not all the time - every moment, walking with Him.
I'm eager to hear more!
I love this, Nancy. I think I want to take a look at that book.
Now, get that transmission fixed!!! :)
Oh how I hear this. I'm wondering if this tendency comes easier to those of us who are most comfortable when we have lists and spreadsheets and contingency plans?
Wonderful piece, Nancy. Thanks.
I remember Michelle speaking of this book. Now I know I need to read it. So much of what you convey here is how I feel in my "quiet time". Sigh.
I wish I could get direct answers like that! For years, I just never thought I was important enough to put my head in His room for a meeting - at least you had yourself in the room!!!! But what you said is so true about digging deep, seeing if our requests line up with Him - because the word is certainly detailed about His promises!
This is great! As I have gotten older I have found that the best quiet/prayer times are often not sitting in my chair reading scripture. Many times it is outside in nature letting HIM speak to me.
Oh, girl I think you have hit on something here! Thank you!!!
Oh Nancy! How many people are there in theworld who feel like this about time with God? How many who never once come nesr him because they are afraid they have failed him? How many who think their homework assignments aren't good enough? How many who need to be reminded that a loving God is waiting, arms akimbo, to welcome them into his presence, if only they would set their fears to one side.
"Perfect love casts out all fear."
Thanks for this - I needed the reminder.
The list thing--I can so see that.
I've done L.L.'s thing (but only for six weeks, and usually for only 15 minutes). It was still transformative.
Yes! I love this, Nancy. I read God in the Yard this past year too. And delighted in my own time with Him in the yard for 12 weeks. I'm always learning new ways to enjoy Him.
The first part brought to mind Anne Shirley and her first prayer with Marilla listening. :) You're on the right track. "The chief end of man is to glorify God and to enjoy Him forever." We always forget the enjoy part, the just sitting and enjoying His presence and allowing ourselves to feel His delight.
This is really good. It is good to have quiet time and even better to have His quiet presence with you all day long. Another blog asked the question, What would I ask God for if I could ask Him for one thing. I think it would be to experience His presence daily. Oh, how I long to know Him.
I have to echo Lyla. :)
Wow, this one certainly hit home with me. Sounded like my Monday morning meeting at work. I loved it. I wouldn't think of missing a Monday morning meeting, yet my time with God... just sayin'. Thanks for this.
I used to have such a similar idea about quiet time, the exchanged words much like you described here. And then, the past few years, I have realized that He Loves Me. And all of that other stuff fell away just because I had really learned that He Loves Me.
Jan Johnson (Joyriding) came to visit me last week and we talked about how much we both just love you.
This has been a continual up and down process for me. I'd love to check out the book you mentioned. I feel God most when I am in my yard and sometimes just step outside to pray. It always helps.
Oh...grace, grace, grace. That is what God in the Yard gave to me. I hope you feel that too. He just loves you, sweet friend. Sometimes that is so hard for me to receive.
Oh, Nancy. This is so very good. I was a little bit afraid of the God in the first part of your story... and then you wrote the rest. Literally - the REST. I'm learning, too.
I've never read that book, God in the Yard, but now I want to. I only recently found out (through Michelle's blog, I think) that it was literally about meeting God outside, in nature. (I originally thought it had something to do with meeting God in a prison yard - really! ;)
I always want to run for cover whenever people start talking about their quiet time, and how they get up early (or stay up late) so they don't miss a meeting with God. I fail miserably at that. The set time. The structure and (what I perceive to be) formality. I really hope God's not like that - wearing a watch and sitting across from me at a mahogany desk, tapping his fingers on his notebook...
Nancy, this is brilliantly written and brilliantly insightful. It's so strange the things we project onto God that aren't at all like He IS! You are so on the right track to pursue delighting in Him, enjoying Him, glorifying Him, rather than living in perpetually dutiful obligation. I love this and wish so much that I could be in your class!!
Yup, you know you've described me in a nutshell, the lists and the guilt and all that.
I can't get enough of God in the Yard. Even though I finished the sitting outside part, I am still thinking about it and writing about it. Just turned in my newspaper column tonight...and it's about God in the Yard!
Love the creativity and honesty in this poignant post. I can realte to this way of doing quiet time, checking it off the list of things to be a good person. Now it starts as a quiet time and continues in conversation all day.
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