See.

(This is a piece I had written last spring.  Ann has kindly asked for posts concerning the spiritual practice of seeing, so I am taking the liberty of reposting)

Tell Graham to see!

There are bruises in more places on my body right now than I remember ever having.  Last week while trying to dry out the basement, I ran up the stairs to close the outside hatch as it started to thunderstorm.  I didn't see the missing step.  Not looking where I was going and focusing on keeping more water out of the basement, muscle memory kicked in.  I placed my foot where the step should have been and planted it on thin air.

The dangers we don't see can hurt, and so much of my parenting has been about teaching my children to look out for and beware of hidden dangers.  Look both ways before crossing the street.  Be careful about the friends you choose, the choices you make.  Beware of what is on the internet.  Know that your adversary is a prowling lion, seeking to destroy you.  Keep your eyes open.

This past year, however, has been about taking my eyes off the work of the enemy and looking for the work of the One who has defeated him, the One who is making all things new.

The above words from the movie Signs were spoken by a dying woman to her husband, an Episcopal priest.  He renounces his faith when he can't make sense of her seemingly random, tragic death.  He considers her dying words incoherent ramblings caused by misfiring neurons in her brain after she sustained massive trauma.  As his family experiences a hostile alien invasion (I know--completely implausible--but trust me, in this movie it works) he realizes he needs his wife's encouragement to see the abundant and inexplicable ways Providence has prepared and preserved them from danger.

In the aftermath of 9/11, the sweet and wise Mr. Rogers encouraged frightened children to look for and see the helpers--the policemen, the firefighters, the emergency medical responders.  Don't focus on what is frightening, he said.  See the helpers.

As I've linked with the gratitude community during this past year, my eyes are being trained to see anew.  In the practice of looking for what is good, noble, trustworthy, healing, beautiful, and redemptive, my eyes are slowly learning to look away from what is ugly, discouraging, and frightening.  Yes, I need to be aware of the dangers, but I need to be more attuned to God's work of protecting, preserving, sustaining, leading, loving, healing.  In her excellent book Dancing With My Father, Sally Clarkson talks about cultivating an awareness of blissful moments and looking for the shadow of God's ways and the evidence of His signature along every step of life.  Seeing.

The year my daughter left for college, I was filled with doubt, with anxiety, with worry.  Had I prepared her well enough?  Could she succeed as a homeschooled graduate?  Was her faith strong enough?  Did she see the dangers, the temptations, the snares?

As we celebrated her graduation this past spring, I remembered our very first vist to her college campus.  During the school's welcome weekend, our family took a trip to a nearby state park with stunning waterfalls.  This is what we saw:

Stunning single and double and triple rainbows.  And I remembered God's promise, Whenever the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will see it,  and remember the everlasting covenant.

See. I think this is the name of this year for me.

The problem is, I don't see very well.  But if I believe as I say I do in the doctrine of total depravity, then there's a reason for my poor eyesight.  If every part of me is throughly corrupted, then even my eyes are damaged.  Without God's work in me, opening my eyes and lifting my head, I can't see Him, nor evidence of His work.  I first need to asks Him to do these things for me.  I have not because I ask not.  I need His grace.

Lord, give me eyes to see your work in my life, in the lives of those I love, in the world.  Make me mindful of the dangers yes, but show me your healing, protective power.  Show me what You would have me do with my life, how I should use my time, to whom you want me to be a blessing.  Help me see.  Then,

I will lift up my eyes to you, to you whose throne is in heaven.  As the eyes of slaves look to the hand of their master, as the eyes of a maid look to the hand of her mistress, so our eyes look to the Lord our God, till he shows us his mercy.  Psalm 123:1,2